Marriage Counseling in New York City

How Is Your Marriage Doing?

I find that open and honest communciation is the key to a good marriage. It helps you the most to feel closer and more intimate with each other. Greater intimacy then makes it much easier to break old patterns and resolve seemingly intractable issues. The following quiz tests the level of good communication and intimacy in your relationship. Please try to answer the questions as realistically and fairly as you can:

1. I feel emotionally close to my spouse.
Yes No

2. I can really be myself in this marriage.
Yes No

3. I at times feel quite lonely in my marriage.
Yes No

4. The way we talk just makes me want to withdraw from my marriage.
Yes No

5. I can share my innermost thoughts and feelings with my spouse.
Yes No

6. I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells with my partner.
Yes No

7. Often we seem more like roommates than a married couple.
Yes No

8. My spouse and I are often separate and disconnected from each other.
Yes No

9. I feel included in my spouse's life.
Yes No

10. There is not much romance between us.
Yes No

11. Our disagreements usually lead to a compromise we both can live with.
Yes No

12. We don't usually talk very deeply to each other.
Yes No

13. Our sex life is mostly satisfying to me.
Yes No

14. I feel respected by my partner even when we disagree.
Yes No

15. I usually feel ignored by my spouse.
Yes No

16. I feel safe to express my anger and other difficult feelings to my partner.
Yes No

17. We are not very physically affectionate with each other (touch, kiss, hold hands).
Yes No

18. I often feel restless and sad even when we're together.
Yes No

19. I feel appreciated by my spouse.
Yes No

20. When I come home, my spouse is glad to see me.
Yes No

Your Score: 0

If you scored:

34+ - You're doing quite well. You feel relatively close and are managing your disagreements relatively well. Congratulations!

20-33 - You are at a crossroads in your relationship. There are some positives between you but also some communication difficulties that require attention soon. You could benefit from counseling.

0-19 - Your marriage is in serious trouble. You probably feel distant and when things go wrong, they probably stay unresolved. It is unlikely that you can make things better without help.

I hope that this test was helpful. If you are having difficulty, you are definitely not alone. In many ways marriage has never been more difficult than it is today. Please feel free to call me if you would like help to make things better.